by Caroline Savery
(The following was composed in immediate aftermath of an ancestral communion on May 11, 2020, and is being shared with minimal editing.
If you like this kind of thing, please follow me on my creative blog, Fractal Axis.)
I feel a deep calling to be of service.
To make the wisdom and techniques I’ve gleaned over the years into an offering.
I have lost money on my business for the past few years. At times this has made me anxious, like I should be charging more, working more, or something to bring my income into alignment with my services.
Today I recognize that that script needs to be flipped. I am bound by spiritual commitment to give whatever I can to help this world right-side itself. It is others’ commitment to offer thanks and mana (food, money, services, etc.) in return.
No system of capitalist economics can account for nor contain those sacred patterns. Capitalism extracts, and that is why I cannot win or gain enough through participating in it. So I give up on bending my objectives to that system.
I demand plenty come to me through the generosity of my giving. I abandon any other strategy but this ancient pattern of spiritual maturing, offering, and receiving.
If this means I lose “everything” material, so be it. I have hard-earned wisdom, I have labored for years for these precious harvests. And once the capitalist system collapses (may it be swift like a blessed death), my wisdom will be more valuable and more acknowledged and more received than ever.
So I put my faith, all my faith, in us remembering sacred ancient pathways, in us remembering the necessity of acting in ways that to reconcile our karma.
I call in your connection with me. May you set everything aside that is an obstacle to your deepest truths. If I may help, allow me. 
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I am abandoning putting any constraints on who and how I serve. This I must do to reconcile my karma (my personal debt of being available to others) / ask me more if you’d like to know.
From now on, everything I provide is on a “pay what you must” basis. (A slight but sincere variation on “pay what you can”—I ask you to pay what is in integrity with your honest circumstance and the meaningfulness that our engagement would have to your life or circumstance.)
I will ask you to define what feels fair. My role will only be to encourage honesty in yourself about the answer to that (“what feels fair”), before during and after our partnership.
To be perfectly clear: I do not assume that this will meet my needs. I may indeed go bankrupt through providing services on these terms. Fortunately, I do not answer to any but my Intuition (my “inner guru” or inner connection to “God”).
I am doing this because I have already released attachment to outcomes. If I must become penniless—nothing will get in my way of serving. This is a great experiment to see if I can invoke new patternings in our community relations, and if the community will rise to engage and encourage the new story of mutual rising.
I abandon any motive besides serving. This also does not mean I will serve anyone who approaches me. If I am not the best person for your needs, I will direct you elsewhere. I have relevant knowledge and skills in domains of cooperative organizational design, facilitation, training and education, intuitive coaching, documentation and storytelling. If my authentic offerings and capacities align with your requests, then let us proceed.
My primary organizing question will be, “Will this serve (us)?” If the answer is yes, my soul will tell me to proceed. No fear, only faith, ahead.
I don’t have time nor energy to fight with the capitalist social order within myself. I am moving on and moving back in time to wiser, simpler patterns. I am setting new containers for new interactions: ones founded in the question “what must happen through us in this lifetime?”
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A brilliance is, by offering in this format,
There is no tussle over my worth,
nor over the worthiness of your initiative.
It is pay-what-you-can so you have no incentive to challenge my value.
You are instead invited to TRUST my value—the value of mind, heart, and skill I bring to all my endeavors, that many other clients have already known and can testify to.
And I must TRUST that in making this vulnerable offering, I will not be abused or neglected by my community.
And I will be transparent about this journey.
I will only spend money on what I need.
And I will communicate if I am experiencing surplus or shortfall in any given period
and call upon my community to help me
if a shortfall in income threatens my health and wellbeing (and by extension, my ability to continue to serve in this way.)
It takes courage to move from a new story.
I invite you to walk a new story, putting new possibilities into the world, with me.
If it fails, it fails. But if it is fractal, then your success would define my success. Your thriving should afford my existing with enough.
If I’m being honest with myself, I only want enough, enough that I can serve others.
I only want, and truly need, to serve others’ liberation.
Hence the model that looks more like a church than a business.
Yet because I provide services that relate to performance of leaders, organizations, and enterprises, I believe this offering can nevertheless intersect with the economy, with money.
I’m offering you greater integrity with your own choices: being honest and being witnessed in that. That’s a value beyond the services I will provide. And it is the real value underpinning whatever compensation you offer me: your honesty and your commitment to genuine growth are, to me, more valuable than anything in this world.
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I have set up a pool to accept contributions in support of my work here. Here, you may opt in to a monthly contribution, with the meaning and effect that you empower me to do what I discern is needing to be done in the world.
I will share stories of who I serve and how, what is worked on, each month. My income and expenses will be completely transparent. And you will also get to enjoy Cooperative Conversations, a podcast about “opening up” my co-op consulting conversations to a wider audience for learning and sharing. So please do support if you feel motivated to endorse what I am doing, if you recognize the spirit moving in me and our communities.
I free you to ask me to help serve your destiny. Your request will be honored irrespective of your status as donor, client, recipient of services, etc. Reach out for an exploratory conversation here.
If you know of a way I could be of service to somebody or some community that you are connected with, please let me know.
I hope this is clear. It is in my heart; I hope it is in these words. If you have any questions, please reach out.
May we free ourselves entirely to our purposes.
So may it be / it already is. Svaha.